The Word Factory: Lyrics

Once I saw this slimy snail
Crawling on the ground
Slimy is the adjective
And snail is the noun

Then I saw this hairy spider
Walking on the ground
Hairy is the adjective
And spider is the noun

Refrain:
Adjectives and nouns
Adjectives and nouns
They are each
Parts of speech
Those adjectives and nouns

Then I saw these purple shoes
Walking on the ground
Purple is the adjective
And shoes is the noun

Then I saw these dirty socks
Lying on the ground
Dirty is the adjective
And socks is the noun

Refrain

I’m A Pronoun

Refrain:
I’m a pronoun
A professional noun
I get paid for being around
I’m a pronoun
No I don’t get money
I don’t get paid
I was just being cute
Actually I’m just a person or thing
I’m just a noun substitute
Refrain

I is a pronoun
You is a pronoun
We is a pronoun
They is a
“pronoun
She is”
a pronoun
He is a pronoun
It is a pronoun, too
Refrain

The Sandwich

In 1762
A Britisher name of Montagu
Was playing cards with a royal bunch
When he could not stop to eat his lunch
Well, the servants brought him some bread and
meat

And other things so good to eat
So just before the next card deal
He made up something for his meal
Refrain:
He made the sandwich
He made the sandwich
John Montagu made up the sandwich
He took peanut butter, jelly
Mayonnaise and honey
Ketchup and liverwurst
And tuna, baloney
Cole slaw, bean sprouts
Avocados, lettuce
Tomatoes and onions
And mustard and cheese
And he put it all between two slices of bread
And made the sandwich
He made the sandwich
John Montagu made up the sandwich

Now Montagu often went to sea
As a lord in the British Admiralty
Though some folks said that he was a crook
He was honored once by Captain Cook
Now since the sandwich had brought Montagu
fame
The Sandwich Islands they just used to be
For today they are known as Hawaii

Refrain

Colorful Phrases

I know some colorful phrases
Some that you probably have heard
Now here are some colorful phrases
With blue as the colorful word

I like to wear blue jeans
And I sing the blues
I listen to bluegrass
It’s the music I choose
There’s a bluebird of happiness
But I’m feeling blue
I’m a blue nose with blue blood
And I’m blue over you
Now I know some colorful phrases
Some that you probably have heard
Now here are some colorful phrases
With green as the colorful word
I live in a green house
I have a green thumb
I work hard for greenbacks
But I only have some
I’m green with envy
As fresh as green cheese
I’ve seen the big green-eyed monster
Of our jealousies

Now I know some colorful phrases
Some that you probably have heard
Think of some colorful phrases
With read as the colorful words
Roll out the red carpet
It’s my red letter day

The Snake

What’s a snake?
A snake’s a viper
A snake’s a serpent
A snake’s a fer de lance
What’s a snake?

A snake’s a boa
A snake’s a python
A snake’s a brand new dance

Refrain:
Do the snake, hiss
Don the snake, wiggle
Do the snake, crawl
Do the snake, for goodness snake
What’s a snake?
A snake’s a rattler
A snake has scales (do re mi fa so la ti do) no not
that kind!
Refrain

What’s a snake?
Asp Cleopatra
I had to adder
To the song

What’s a snake?
A snake has fangs
Hey, you’re welcome!
Now everybody dance along

Refrain
Reptile

Beautiful Words vs. Ugly Words

Refrain:
Beautiful words are so pretty
But some other words can be ugly
Crimes is a beautiful word to me
How about crunch?
So you chew, and you grind, and you crunch
Dawn is a beautiful word to me
How ’bout gripe?
So complain, and grumble and gripe
Refrain

Mist is a beautiful word to me
How `bout sap
You’re the fluid part of a plant, sap
Hush is a beautiful word to me
How `bout shut up! Knock it off, close it tight, shut
up!
Refrain
Melody is a beautiful word to me
How `bout phlegmatic! You’re sluggish and stolid
and boring!

OK Club

When President Martin Van Buren
Was running for his second term
The year 1840
Van Buren was a pachyderm

Now a group of his loyal supporters
Decided to form a new club
He needed to beat Andrew Jackson
So the name of the club they did dub

Refrain:
They called it OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK Club
It was the OK OK OK OK OK OK OK Club
Now since Van Buren was born out in New York
In a place known as Old Kinderhook
They took the 0 from Old and the K from the
Kinderhook
The 0 and the K really took
Hey by now everybody should know
Where the OK expression did start
It began as the OK from Old Kinderhook
Remember that & you’re pretty smart
Refrain

Puns

Refrain:
Puns, I like puns
I like puns that are not always funny
Puns, I like puns
I like puns just because they are punny
Say, you know what’s the best thing to wear in a
thunderstorm?
Thunderwear!

Refrain
You know why cats like to sleep under the wheels

of cars?
It’s because they’re tired!
Refrain

Say did you hear what they found at the bottom of
Shamu’s tank?
Shampoo!

Refrain
You know I’m thinking of starting my own line of
spaghetti sauce. I realize It’s not an oregano idea,
but it does have pastabillities! Want a pizza the
action?
Refrain

The Ballad of the Collective Nouns

A murder of crows
A labor of moles
And a smack of jellyfish, too
A trip of goats
A knot of toads
And a troop of kangaroos
A paddling of ducks
A hear of bucks
And a drift of overweight hogs
A gaggle of geese
A swarm of bees
And a pack of lean, hungry dogs
Refrain:
Nouns, nouns
Collective nouns abound
Nouns, nouns
Collective nouns abound

A parliament of owls
A rack of towels
And a watch of nightingales sweet
A siege of herons
A sloth of bears
And a rafter of turkeys to eat

A shrewdness of apes
A bunch of grapes
And a skulk of wiley foxes
Leopards in a leap
And chickens in a peep
And a crash of rhinoceroses
Refrain

Madam, I’m Adam

Did Otto peep?
Did Otto peep?
Did Otto peep?
Did Otto peep?
Refrain:
Madam, I’m Adam
Adam the palindrome man
Madam, I’m Adam
May a moody baby doom a yam
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama

“Did Otta peep?
Did Otto peep?”
Did Otto peep?
Did Otto peep?

Never odd or even
Did Otto peep? Did Otto peep?

“Sit on a potato pan, Otis
Did Otto peep? Did Otto peep?”
Well Madam, I’m Adam
Adam the palindrome man
Madam, I’m Adam
May a moody baby doom a yam

Refrain
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama

Homonyms

I saw Jim
In the gym
I heard him
Sing a hymn
Have you ever heard
A cattle herd?
For words like that
There is a word
“Refrain:
They’re called homonyms”
Not antonyms
Not synonyms
I’m talking about homonyms
“I was weak
For an entire week”
‘Til I got to meet
A piece of meat
Then I ate
At a little past eight
The cheese I grate
It tasted great

Refrain

Screwball

Hey there once was a pitcher who was six feet tall
And he made up a pitch, it was called a screwball
He pitched in 500 big league games
Mr. Carl Hubbell was this pitcher’s name

Refrain:
Screwball wobblin’
Screwball fast
Screwball ball come a whizzin’
Right past
Strike 1
Now in 1923 he signed to the pros
But he couldn’t get the batters out with regular
throws
So he got the idea to pitch a new ball
It was fast and wobbly, it was called a screwball
Refrain
Strike 2

“Now in 1993 many games he was winning
And he once pitched 46 scoreless innings”
So today when a person is goofy at all
Many times that person is called a screwball
Strike 3
You’re out!

Preposition Blues

“Refrain:
I have those preposition blues”

>From my head down to my shoes
I have those preposition blues
>From my head down to my shoes
I have those preposition blues
Got a lot of words I don’t know how to use
I have the preposition TO
The preposition UP
The preposition ON
& the preposition OFF
Refrain

Now a preposition’s a word
That’s used to relate a noun
To some other word in a sentence
Like you might want to say
I went TO the wall
I climbed UP the wall
I sat ON the wall
I fell OFF the wall
Refrain

Dirty Words

I’m going to sing a song and use dirty words
Those dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, words
I’m going to sing a song and use dirty words
Those dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, words
Dirt, filth, soil,
“Slop, dust, soot, smudge,
Slush, slosh, mud, mire,”
Muck, silt, swill, sump,
Dregs, slag, froth, smear,
Smutch, smurch, slubber,
Slime, grit, grime, ash, raff,
Sty, smoke, crud, hogwash